Long story short, it's the short story.
I'm not in love but I've got the hots.
The hots for...I've got the hots for...
Seems funny to me to have the hots...
It's like, I've got the burns...
I feel like it's carpet burn on your bum.
Bum diggiddy. Dam dam.
Foo Faa,
Hee ha,
See ya,
Woopla.

An irritation.

And sometimes the things that shouldn't make sense make the most sense of all.
Senseless, I can't feel anything. Well I guess that's not so bad...it only involves one on my senses.
I've got 4 more to keep me afloat.

Please sir, can I have some more?
Ollie. Twist.
Twister.
Heather something.
No, it's something else...
uh, what's her name
In that show with Paul something.
Oh, this is gonna piss me off.

Uh, Heather Graham is the other one with the boobies in studio 54.
Helen Hunt, and there it is.
Now, the other guy in twister...
Dennis Quaid is not it. I can see his face, almost hear his voice....
Rodger. Def. not, but' that's all i got right now.
The bad guy in twister is the dude from the Princess bride.
Good flick.
Back then.
Back then it was a good flick. And now we have more complex patterns forming, sentences.
Man, I can't remember anything right now.
Maybe I''m sutpid, maybe I'm dumming down.
Maybe something else is on my mind and it's distracting me.

Ah, an interesting prospect. What could be the distraction?
I know, it's a girl. It's a married girl.
An engaged married girl that isn't married yet but I'm invited to her wedding.
Sounds like a romantic comedy.
Sounds like I've got to work on my British accent for this to work.
And I've got to get a lot cuter.
More handsome.
No, I'm handsome, just not in the British hunk in my bunk sort of way.
So I have to work on my angle.
This whole I'm an artist thing only goes so far.
Women want the moeny, they want the stabiity, they want the future prospect.
Not all women of course, but I'm not talking abut you right noe, I'm talking about me.

Me me me me me me me me.
I wished that me spelled backwards would spell something cooler than EM.
WHat's "em" stand for? Maybe it stands for something, and maybe it stands for something cool.
Luckily, we have wikipedia, so I could find out.
I should.
I should go now to Wikipedia and type in my search, and find out if it means something.
But I'm not going to.
My kids will.
My kids will probably think it and wikipedia will launch all by itself and give them info on the "em" in a side window.
I'm too lazy and the mystery is more exciting.

Technology pisses me off. Only when it doesn't work of course.
When it workds it makes life easier. When it doesn't it ignites a burning sensation deep within.
ANd now we have two references to burning in one text.
Perhaps there is a theme developing.

I guess I should mention burning in hell. Not only cuz it's a natural development but also because it's a keyword that might help something or someone find this text at some point.
And, it's a more concrete reference.
References available upon request.
Only if you do request them, i'll have to shit around and call people and make some up.
And then they'll be briefed and only then will they be available.

At your disposal.
Disposable income.
I don't even know what that means.
The argentine waiter then takes the time to say what he said again, only slower.
And I interrupt because no, that's not what I meant... i understand what it means literally, I say, I just don't know what it's like.
Don't take it so literal.
Or I will literally bash your head in.

Oh, an aggressive side.
I didn't want to show it, but it came out.
It's a trait, it's an instinct, it's a way of life.
But being aggressive is akin to having a temper tantrum.
Because you're mad and you know you're right, and everybody should know how right you are.
But they don't. And you look silly now cuz your angry and you're turing bright red.

I turn red easily and I hate it.
Not only cuz of tantrums but also cuz that's the way I was born.
I love myself and who I am but I feel a strange discord between my inner and outer existence.
My profile never ceases to amaze me.
I was once described as tall and skinny with big ears and a prominent nose.
And that about sums it up.
And I'm not really going to sit here and feel sorry for myself.

Do it on your own time.

Do it.

Doing it.

I was doing this girl.
Oh, how vulgar.
I was banging this chick.
Oh, how crude.
I was munching on a Vagina...
And now you've overstepped the boundaries of good taste.

What tastes good.
Vagina doesn't taste good to me.
But neither do olives or sardines.
So I dunno, maybe it's just me.

I know it's just me, cuz I'm a dude and I'm supposed to love sucking vagina.
Get all crazy up in that vagina.
And I know what it's like when a chick says she doesn't like to suck on the cock: dissapointing.
Cuz it's nice and she shouldn't be so silly about it.
So I guess the same goes for me.
But it's my burfday and I cry if I want to.
And it's my life, it's now or never.
Never say never, ever again.

This is like a choose your own adventure...
In the last three lines of the previous paragraph there are three references to popular songs.
Look them up and find their titles.
Band name is not important.
Take the names of the songs and write each letter from their titles on a separate sheet up paper and put them in a bag, or hat, or whatever.
Shaky shaky, mixy mixy.
Pull out the letters one at a time and place them in horizontal order, form left to right, as you pull them out.
Incredibly, every time you pull out the letters they will form a new sentence!
A new sentence that will amaze you and perhaps even change your life.

I didn't believe this when I first heard about it, but I tried it for myself, and it's really cool.

For more information, visit wwww.sticksandstonesmakebutter.com.
or, if you were writing html, you'd right and close it up with a " symbol, so it knows to close out the anchor.
Note: "a" stands for anchor, "href" stands for hyper text reference, and ">FU< "stands for go fuck yourself!

No but seriously try it.
It's cool.

But also go fuck yourself.

That's getting a little redundant.
or perhaps just the way you chose to interpret it.

I'd like to take a moment now for a reference to string cheese made in the text above.
As you may have noticed there is no reference to string cheese in the text above.
Which is precisely why I'm bringing it up now.
Fromage.
I mean honestly, you think the old timers tending to their cheeses ever thought an orange cheese might one day come out of an aersol can
and make life so much easier for everyone who would otherwise have had to cut actual peices of cheese for their crackers?
But sometimes bad is good.
It's the genius of junk food.
It's so bad it's good.

Which makes me think of the Turner Prize.
So bad, it's good.
Controversial.
Genius. Retarded.
The Turner Prize is like an idiot savant.
A little bit of both at the same time.

It's like me, also.
A little bit of both.
A little bit of everything, really.
A little bit of you.
A little bit of me.
Wow, "little" written four times in four lines.
Little, little, little, little. And now there exists a horizontal version.
I wonder which it prefers.
Personally I prefer it vertical.
But that's just me.
And you're just you.

And I don't like you very much anymore.
What I mean is that as I grow older, i have less patience for the you's i don't like.
And now I realize it's ok for me not to like some you's.
And some you'se inevitably won't like me.
So it's like a circle, and it works out for everybody.
Right?
Wrong. Often the You's that you dislike and the me's that dislike you are busy disliking different me and you's.

Well, the restaurant's name is actually Mie and Yu, and it's in Georgetown in DC.
What a poor excuse for a cool neighborhood.
But I love it.
Cuz I gotta.
Cuz it grew me up.
I grew from it.
What I mean is I grew up there and so part of it is me and part of it is you.
Now i've lost both of us.

Just the two of us, you and I.
That's all I'm gonna say about that one.
But wilberg smithsonian might help in any searches you may conduct on the topic.


I think it's about time to take a look back to how this all got started and try and hook a little 123 on this motha fucka.
1 is the beginning, 2 is the middle, and 3 is the end.
Applied to a family of three children that makes more sense, in this case less, but it does work, it's just a little more obscure.
Obscure are the signals that women give us.
Or perhaps it's just the way we choose to interpret those signals.
Because in the end, life is pretty black and white.
Either it is, or it isn't.
That's at the very basic level.
So mixed signals are really just a result of a person choosing to brood in the gray area instead of making a decision, one way or another.
Decisions aren't usually that difficult, their level of difficulty simply relies on the time we want to invest in making them.
So I'm getting mixed signals from this married chick.
Not really, she either want's it or she don't.
Same applies to me.
Either I DO, or I don't.
So what's the fussy wus?

There is none. Which means, unfortunately, that neither the "mixed signals" the "mixed nuts" or the "mix ups" really mean anything...and therefore,
This text doesn't really mean anything.
Ouch.
Really?

What a bloody waste of time!
Imagine if you weren't doing anything, just sitting there, and it was bloody all over the place.
Now THAT would be a bloody waste of time.
But otherwise it's just a waste of time.

Speaking of waste of time.
It's not true.
Not about Wilberg Smithsonian, and not about the other thing.

But as I lay me down to sleep...
I wan't you to know something.
I have always loved you and always will. But I'm not IN love with you.
And so to be fair to both of us, it's best that we end this now.
It's not you, of course, you're an amazing person.
It's just...it's just that I've got a lot going on right now and I can't give you the attention you deserve.
And I want you to be happy.
You deserve to be happy.
I've been sleeping with my boss.
I've been sucking on the admin.
I took your best friend out for the time of his life and I rejoiced in the inner turmoil it caused him.
I compared the two of you to my friends.
We laughed about it.
You don't have a small penis...but he has a really big one.
And that's a really good thing to have in life.
It does a body good.
It does a body real good.
Cock.
Lot's of it.
In my mouth,
in my face,
all over the place.

Wow! Issues.
Issue with a tissue.
Tissue, sinew, and a brief allusion to shakespeare.
And so now this text is golden.
Cuz it'll show up on searches for willy.
And willy's the authority on literature.

And we were talking about peni and cocks, and in the very next paragraph, we talk about willy's.
I think things are interelated, intertwined, and have deeper meanings.
No i don't, I know better than that.

Psychological analyses.
Psycho anal calyses logi.
Annagram, meaning mostly nothing.

And that's it.
Damn, I wanted to end on a bright note that tied everything together.
But it's now gonna happen.
Shit.

Gotta let it go.

There will be others.

Much love,

word to your moms.

Frankie D